The Power of Saying No, and 3 Rules to Do It Well
Notes #5 - How setting boundaries can protect your time, energy, and well-being
Hey everyone! 👋🏼
Josep here, back with your weekly bite of career insights and encouragement ✨
Last week, we explored How to Stay Relevant in a Rapidly Shifting Job Market, with practical tips to help you stay ahead of the curve 👇🏻
This week, we’re taking a more personal turn.
Today’s note is about something deceptively simple… but deeply transformative:
🌀 How to say NO — especially when you don’t want to, but need to.
🧭 In today’s issue:
Value Your Time
Be Direct and Honest
Offer Alternatives (When Possible)
Stick with me for 5 minutes — it will be worth it, I promise! ✨
Let’s dive in! 👇🏻
The Hardest Thing I’ve Had to Learn? Saying No
For most of my life, I was a yes person.
Yes to new projects.
Yes to last-minute meetings.
Yes to helping out, even when I was already stretched thin.
Why?
Because deep down, I was afraid.
Afraid of missing out.
Afraid of letting people down.
Afraid that if I wasn’t constantly saying yes, I’d be forgotten.
But here’s the truth I learned, slowly, and honestly, the hard way:
👉🏻 Every time you say yes to something you don’t truly want or need to do, you’re saying no to something else.
Usually, that something else is you: your time, your goals, your peace of mind.
Saying no isn’t easy, especially when you care, when you’re ambitious, or when you want to be liked.
But if you never learn how to say No, you end up burnt out, distracted, and far from the life you want to live.
Over the past few years, I’ve worked hard to unlearn this habit.
I’ve learned that no is not selfish, it’s self-respect.
It’s clarity. It’s courage.
And it’s one of the most powerful skills you can build.
Here are the 3 rules I try to live by:
1. Value Your Time
You get 24 hours a day — no more, no less.
That alone makes time your most precious, non-renewable resource.
You can’t stretch it, pause it, or earn more of it, so it’s worth protecting fiercely.
That means being intentional about how (and with whom) you spend it.
You don’t owe your time to everyone.
And you definitely don’t have to say yes to every request that comes your way.
Ask yourself:
👉🏻 Were the things you said yes to this week truly worth it?
👉🏻 Did they align with your goals, values, or energy?
If not, it might be time to reassess.
What can you start saying no to so you can start saying yes to what really matters?
Saying no is hard — especially when it’s to people you care about.
But it’s also one of the most powerful ways to build confidence, protect your peace, and earn the respect of others (and yourself).
Make your time count — for you.
2. Be Direct and Honest
You don’t need to overexplain or apologize for protecting your time.
A simple, kind, and confident I can’t commit to this right now is enough.
It might feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you're used to softening your no with excuses or long explanations.
But the more you do it, the more natural it becomes.
And the truth is: people can handle it.
Most of the time, they’ll respect your boundaries.
And those who don’t?
They likely benefited from you not having any.
So don’t dance around it. Don’t invent reasons or pile on justifications to make yourself feel nicer.
That often leads to guilt, overthinking, or even backing out of your original decision. You owe it to yourself to be clear and firm.
Yes, saying no might be inconvenient for someone else — and that’s okay.
You can acknowledge their position if you’d like, but you don’t need to carry the emotional weight of their disappointment.
Say it calmly.
Say it kindly.
And move on.
No drama.
No guilt.
That’s real respect — for them, and for yourself.
3. Offer Alternatives (When You Can)
Saying no doesn’t always mean closing the door, especially when you’re working as part of a team or collaborating toward a shared goal.
In these moments, offering a thoughtful alternative can turn a hard no into a productive redirection.
It shows that you still care and want to help, even if you can’t fully commit.
Here are a few ways to do that:
Suggest another time – Maybe now’s not the right moment, but that doesn’t mean it’s a no forever. Rescheduling can keep things moving without overwhelming you.
Refer someone else – If you know someone better suited or more available, making that connection is a generous and proactive gesture.
Meet halfway – Can’t take on the whole request? Maybe you can offer a quick review, a short call, or just a nudge in the right direction.
These small actions keep collaboration alive, without draining your time or energy.
Remember: you don’t have to be everything to everyone.
You just have to show up in ways that honor both your boundaries and your relationships.
A kind no paired with a thoughtful alternative?
That’s not rejection — it’s respect in action. 💡
This wasn’t an easy lesson for me, and honestly, I still mess up from time to time.
But each no I say now feels like a small act of self-care.
A reminder that I’m allowed to choose myself.
So are you.
If you're struggling with this, you're not alone.
Practice it.
Give yourself permission.
You deserve to protect your time, your goals, and your well-being 💚
🚀 Big News!
Together with Robbert van Vlijmen from AIgents, we’re launching LearnDS.ai, a new platform to help you master Data Science.
We’re kicking things off next week with a free intro course! 🎉
Here’s how it works:
Each week, a new module unlocks. Perfect for beginners or anyone wanting a refresher.
More details coming soon! 🙌🏻
PS: You’re allowed to…
Say no — even if you’ve always been the yes person
Protect your energy — even if others don’t fully understand
Set boundaries — even if it makes you uncomfortable at first
Disappoint someone — and still be a kind, reliable person
Choose yourself — without guilt, without needing permission
Ask for help (including from me! 🙋🏻♂️)
Don’t wait to be chosen. Start choosing yourself.
Adapting early isn’t just about survival—it’s a way to expand your luck surface area in a shifting world.
Are you still here? 🧐
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See you next Tuesday!
Best,
-Josep